He's Here!!!

Yaay! He's finally here and so worth the wait.  He was born at 5:35 am on Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 at 8 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches in length.  I guess he didn't want to share a birthday with grandpa, but he came close. 
I had been experiencing regular and sporadic contractions all week long before his birth so it was so confusing when he would arrive.  We took dad out to Manuel's for his birthday and the contractions started again sporadically. 

They became more intense and regular at around 10 pm Tuesday night.  I let Jeff sleep a couple of hours in the beginning stages of labor, and then I woke him at around 1am Wednesday morning to take me to the Birth Center.  We arrived at around 2 am and I was 4-5 centimeters dilated.  I remember feeling soooo exhausted the whole night.  Jeff walked with me for about an hour.  It was so beautiful and cool outside, and the stars were crystal clear.  I came inside at around 3 am and laid on the bed for about another hour almost falling asleep in between contractions because I was soo tired.  I got in the tub at around 4 am and soon after sat foward and felt a different urge... which I thought was the urge to push.  Our midwife Ce Ce Dirks checked me and said I was only about 6 centimeters dilated.  It was disheartening to only make that little progress for all the hard work I was doing.  I would soon find out that that urge I was experiencing was the beginning of transition.  I felt the only way to cope was to make low moaning noises pushing the sound out of my mouth as if I was letting my body open up and push the baby out.  It was unbelievably hard.  It only took about two to three pushes for Josh to come out.  I held him in my arms and couldn't believe it.

He is so precious... so sweet.  I felt such a huge bond with him the moment he arrived.  So far, he has a very calm temperment, and he loves to cuddle and stare into my eyes.  I've been hogging him.  Poor Jeff hasn't been able to hold him that often.  I love to snuggle and take naps with him.

Everyone that was there at the birth mentioned how beautiful it all was.  The Lord gave me an immeasurable amount of strength and peace, especially during transition and delivery.  He answered my prayer during transition.  If I could use one word to descibe the way I felt, it would be joy... pure joy! It was pure joy to hold my son for the first time; to love him, cuddle, and kiss him.  Audrey and Claire love him, and they are both his little mothers.  They both want to hold him all the time. 

It hasn't been perfect though.  Breastfeeding is extremely hard this time.  I cannot get him to open his mouth wide enough to get a good latch, and it is extremely painful to nurse him.  My nipples and cracked and bleeding, and it is not fun at all.  I think I would definitely give up if I didn't love him so much.  I just have to perservere.

A Trying Day

I woke up this morning at 5 am with good contractions lasting 30 seconds to a minute and 6.5 minutes in between each contraction.  Of course the contractions decided to eventually taper off and get me all excited for no reason.  I want to have Joshua so badly on my dad's birthday.  It would be so special to me.  I guess there's still time and I know that God has a perfect plan.

The girls also have been giving us a lot of trouble today.  Claire wanted me to scoot her chair back so that she could get down from lunch, but when I scooted her back, she threw a fit threatening to hit her cereal bowl all over the floor.  Before I could take her cereal bowl away, she did just that.  I lost it!  I spanked her three times out of anger and dragged her to the time out corner.  I eventually sent her and Audrey upstairs because they were driving me crazy, and when Jeff passed by their room he had seen that they had gotten into the furniture oil.  It was everywhere; all over their beds, clothes, wood floors, and furniture.  I am so glad it is their nap time!   I am too exhausted and pregnant to deal with this mess.  I need some peace and quiet around here!!!  I know I'm eventually going to laugh at this moment, but for now I am just sick and tired.

Lord, thank you for my blessings...

new change to my blog

I love the way my friend Stephanie writes little moments throughout the day that make her smile.  I'm going to start adding comments at the end of my post with a * symbol starting now!

* the way Claire snuggles in Daddy's arms and pretends to be eating by smacking her lips and putting her fingers to her mouth while sleeping
* the way Claire whimpers like a little puppy when I cuddle and kiss her
*how much Audrey knows about letters and how to write them
* how Audrey writes a random row of letters and tells me, "It says I love you Mom"
* how Audrey dresses her and her sister up throughout the day and changes clothes 5 or 6 times a day!
* how Claire draws all over my painting because she wants to be able to draw something pretty like me
* the way Audrey and Claire still both fit on the toy choo choo train while Audrey pushes them around with her legs

I feel like I haven't been living victoriously in the last part of my pregnancy... I've been anxious, impatient,  selfish, and grumpy.  Instead of trusting God, I find myself questioning Him...  I'm sorry Lord for my attitude.  So many times I correct my daughters' attitudes when mine needs adjusting most.  I've been super impatient because I've been expecting Joshua for a couple of weeks now; probably because Claire came at 38 weeks and Audrey at 39, so I expected Joshua to come earlier.  Lord, I know You have great purposes in all that You do and don't do.  Please help me to trust You.  I'm sorry.

Thank you for all the blessings in my life.  Audrey and Claire make me so happy!  They are my sweet little girls and I know You love them even more!  Thank you for loving them and caring for them even more than I do.  I need all the help and guidance I can get Lord.  Show me how to lead them to You in all we do. 

Stephanie and Sarah came over for breakfast yesterday to celebrate Steph coming back from Iraq.  Jeff's sisters are so sweet.  Stephanie is thinking about applying to the Sheriff's department this month.  I think that would be awesome!  I'm so glad she's back home safe and sound...

Lord, I also pray that You keep me safe and sound during childbirth.  Heather, in small group, shared this verse from 1st Timothy 2:15 with me.  "Neverthless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control."  "She will be saved" is translated from the greek "kept safe and sound."  I never understood that verse and always took it the wrong way.   I'm so glad Heather shared her wisdom with me.  Lord, help me to be content in You laying my anxiety down at the foot of the cross.  You are in control.  You are good.

Prayers Answered

Thank you Lord for making us well before Josh comes... You are so good.  I'm sorry I can be so impatient!  I just want him to come now!  David and Tiffany had Kynoah today in the late afternoon; 6 lbs 13 oz.  It just makes me want Josh even more...  Lord I trust in You...

Phillipians 4:6-7 brings me comfort, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and supplication, with THANKSgiving, make your request known to God; and the peace that trancends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Lord please give me peace.  You know my heart and you know I want to have my baby in my arms right now; I'll just wait for Your timing and give thanks for everything you have done... Thank you that you have healed my family so quickly.  Thank you that Joshua and I are healthy.  Thank you for my two sweet daughters and the best husband and daddy in the world! Thank you a million times!

Jamie was over again this past weekend helping out and being there in case I go into labor.  What a big help! Even though this week has held record highs (105 degrees), it was still nice to get out and walk around the neighborhood.  We went to the park first thing this morning. I also washed the van today with the girls and really tried to move myself around; squatting and standing and leaning back and forth.  I'm doing all I can to go into labor.  Our neighbor Cody said, "Arizona, if this doesn't induce labor I don't know what will.  You're one tough woman!" 

So there it is...  I'm just waiting.  I should probably start up a project or something to distract myself.  Maybe I'll finish sewing the wet bags or start the artwork for Josh's room. Maybe I'll go to Michael's tomorrow!

Stressful Times

The last couple of days has been so stressful with the family being sick; mainly Audrey.  Friday night Jamie and I called 911 because Audrey had a 95 degree temperature which seems very low.  Everything checked out okay and her temp went back up after she became more active, but it was so scary.  When she woke up at 10:30 pm, she was pale, lethargic and very cool to the touch.  Her temp has remained the same the last two nights too.  Jeff's friend Hartenstein, who used to be an EMT, said it's not uncommon for children's temperatures to fluctuate so much, which put me at ease even more.  But even before those reassuring words, the Lord caused me to trust in Him while reading His words and praying.  I was having a nervous breakdown that day!  I was worried about Audrey, about the baby coming, money, you name it I was worrying about it!  What a horrible couple of days, but the Lord pulled me through.  I am now trying to focus on relaxing and trusting in the Lord.  It's Jeff's dad's birthday today and I thought it would be a cool tribute to have Joshua today, but I don't think Josh is coming today.  The Lord knows best! 

Belly Cast

Heike just did my belly cast this morning with Josh in it!  It turned out cute.  Her and Dave are going to start foster care and adoption classes with the intention of adoption.  God bless them.  Maybe one day...  Well, today I just need to focus on getting the girls well and staying well myself.  Jamie is going to be staying with us on the weekends now up until the baby is born in case we need to hurry to the birth center.  She'll be coming over after work tonight.  I'm so proud of her!  She recently lost 40 pounds and looks great!  She's planning a trip to Cancun in November. You go girl!  Anyway, Lord heal our family...

Waiting for Baby

I'm just waiting for baby... I thought I was going into labor last night, but I think it was just an over-filled bladder causing all the problems.  I really want to have this baby, but at the same time I would rather the girls get well before he comes.  Oh, did I mention there has been one more victim added?  Claire had a temperature today but no diarrhea.  I can't imagine having Joshua and the girls not being able to hold him, kiss him, snuggle him.  I just hope I don't get sick as well.  Lord, please miraculously cure our family from this sickness and help us to recover by tomorrow if possible.  All things are possible through you Jesus... Heike's going to do my belly cast at 8 am tomorrow.  I'm pretty excited!  Today, the girls and I did school and played out on the front porch with the sidewalk chalk.  Audrey reminds me so much of myself... She gets frustrated so easily if she can't do things the right way, and won't take any help.  She was spelling words like "cat, hat, and plant" on the driveway with my help of course, but she is so smart!  Claire is learning her colors at the moment.  Her favorite colors are orange and green.  Audrey's first favorite color was yellow.  Anyway, at the end of the day I ask one thing Lord.  Please heal my family, and help us to get better before Josh gets here so that we can all enjoy him without holding back.  We put our lives in Your hands... Love you Lord.

Words for My Children

I should have started this long ago, but better late than never!  Marissa from small group introduced me to blogging to record all the memories and details of my life for my children one day.  I thought, "What an awesome idea!"   So... here it is.

At this time in our lives Dad is 27, I am 26, Audrey is 3, Claire is 2, and Joshua is almost here; I am 37 weeks and 3 days into gestation meaning you are full term Joshua!  Billy and Solomon are also a part of our family.  Daddy has been with the Sheriff Department for 2 years now and I stay at home with you guys!  It seems like Daddy is your favorite!  You girls always have so much fun with your Daddy...  I hope Joshua will be my cuddle bug! 

Well, let's see... Today Audrey woke up with a fever, diarrhea and a congested cough which is really bad timing as Joshua is coming soon.  I'm praying that you get better very soon Audrey and that no one else catches it.  Claire, you are an adorable little lady with a lot of attitude.  You get spanked every nap time and bed time for taking off your diaper and going into Audery's room!  It seems like the spankings don't affect you because you keep doing it.  Your Daddy and I laugh at how different you two are.  Audrey, it only takes words of discipline to make you cry, and Claire you just grunt when you get hard spankings.  You two are so different!

Today, for nap time, I took Claire to the bathroom and she didn't do anything in the toilet.  I put a diaper on you and put you down and LOCKED your door or else you come right back out.  Two minutes later you were yelling, "Mommy!  Poo poo and potty!" I came up stairs and you laid a huge log and a puddle of pee on the floor as you never use the diapers for the right purpose.  It can be quite frustrating.  I think I'm just going to put the potty chair in your room in case you have to go. 

Lord, give me patience and wisdom!  My biggest desire is to not raise you guys knowing right from wrong, but to know and obey and love the Lord with all your hearts, minds, and strength.  This is only possible with you God!